everything in me is in revolt over it

I went to the university to paint this morning. And took some pretty pictures on my way.

It was so lovely and ice-foggy. Really a perfect winter's morning.

That last one I'd like to do as a perspective study - if I ever have time.

You know, I think it's fair to say that I'm a person who can find beauty or interest in most things. I am also a person who tries hard not to hate things. So when I say that I hate trying to paint that ugly, ugly still life you know just about everything in me is in revolt over it. AND now, for homework, we have to do 2 (large) collages of exactly the same composition, with exactly the same ugly jarring colours. As if it wasn't bad enough to be subjected to having to work with that ugliness once, now we have to three times over.

I'm not fond of collage in general, but the artists they sent us to look at on the internets are quite interesting. The thing is I'm just not sure how to turn it into anything worth looking at within the very narrow parameters she has given us. One has to be about the colours and the other, if I understand her correctly, is to get the shapes right - positive and negative space - but we can't change the composition. I overheard her telling someone else that she'd like the colours built up from "hundreds of torn pieces of paper". Where exactly does she think people have the time for that?

I am so frustrated I am not sure how I am going to make it through the rest of this term.

Oh, did I mention the 3 large papers I need to also write in the next ten days?